I have not updated in a while so I thought I would hit you with something very profound and important that also relates to fitness.  Perhaps you have a flat butt, and would like a booty, but do not want to get ass implants or those booty-pop underwear.  Here is a scenario that you can do at the gym to work those glutes.

Motivation to go to the gym is sometimes hard.  You can think of any excuse why you shouldn’t work out, you can invent any malady to prevent you from getting your fitness on.  One day, I said “I cannot go to the gym, I have the farts.”  Because think about it, who wants to fart at the gym?  It’s like farting in the shower – that is supposed to be a clean zone and you don’t want to sully it with your ass gas.

After a while I said ok, you’ve not farten in a while, let’s go to the gym and do this.  I had no motivation, my energy was at negative five thousand, but I had to take that first step and just do it.  The second I got on the elliptical though, my farts got jiggled lose again.  There were two other people in the gym with me, a husband and wife.  And for some reason on this day, it was dead silent.  The music which is usually entirely too loud, forcing me to crank up my iPod to volumes that I will regret way before old age, was dead.  No music at the gym.  The other couple was doing free-weights, so they didn’t even have the sound of machines, feet on the treadmill or their own iPods to distract them.  Just me whirring along on a treadmill, breathing heavily was the only sound.  And that was to remain the only sound, because I was not about to be known as the Gym Farter Girl.  Not me.

I kept my butt clenched tight that whole work-out, and the next day my ass was sore.  I did not fart at the gym.  But I worked my booty a little bit.

I hope you just enjoyed my blog about farts and holding them in.  I am such a refined lady.