Hey guys guess what?  I’m an atheist.

I have too much logic in my brain to believe in mystical, omnipotent creators.  I like science too much.  I don’t believe in god, gods, the bible, religion, scientologists or anything.  When I was young and my dad tried telling me bible stories, like about Adam and Eve or Noah’s ark, I thought it was complete bullshit.  The whole population didn’t come from 2 people.  Explain Asians, black people and gingers coming from two people?  No you can’t, unless you suspend disbelief and allow magic into your heart.  You couldn’t convince me that some dude put like a million or more animals on a boat and then it rained “for 40 days and 40 nights.”  That didn’t happen yo.  I just can’t believe in Aesop’s fables as the truth.

I do, however, believe in aliens.

When I was a kid, I didn’t believe in the things other kids believe in.  Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny.  Maybe because I didn’t get enough church indoctrination I wasn’t able to open my tiny child mind and believe in bullshit things that don’t exist.  There were so many normal kid things that I just wasn’t into.

Peanuts/Charlie Brown:  They seemed depressing.  All of them.  All their holiday specials made me want to commit child suicide.  Merry Christmas, here’s a fucked up tree assholes.

Winnie the Pooh:  Also depressing.  That Eyore is a fucking downer and a half.  Pooh sounds like he is on goddamn lithium.

Disney:  There was just something off about all that to me.  As an adult, I’m in the camp of “this princess shit is fucked up.”

Scientific studies (which I can’t cite but definitely read about somewhere) have shown that people who believe in God have a special part of their brain that lights up during prayer or religious service where non-religious people do not have that happen.  I wonder if the same thing in my head happened as a child from not liking mandatory childlike things, and instead watching Bewitched and M*A*S*H* reruns forever.